Sunday, December 27, 2009

Jacques Martin's large head must be ready to explode.

The coach who prides himself on defensive, disciplined hockey has watched his Habs give up 186 shots in the last four games, including 49 last night in a 3-2 OT win over the Leafs (sic). That's four wins in a row for them and their rubberized G Jaroslav Halak—the only reason Montreal (19-18-3) now sit 7th in the East. The Canadiens have turned their zone into a comfortable lounge, complete with La-Z-Boys, free wifi, and complimentary coffee and Danish. Luckily, their PP is at 25%, #1 in the league, and their PK is a strong 7th. This "winning" formula is very reminiscent of their squad a couple of years ago that was consistently dominated at even strength, but won games because of specialty teams and goaltending. Except: this team is getting outplayed even worse. There's no way Halak can keep up this level of unconsciousness, and they're not the Oilers of the 80s; they don't have enough offense to keep succeeding this way. Next game on this 7-game road trip: tomorrow against the injury-depleted Senators, so a fifth straight win is very possible.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


Two in a row, BAYBEE. Who cares if the Habs have been outplayed in both wins over the awful Islanders and average Thrashers. Who cares that the only reason they won both games is because Jaroslav Halak—who's probably being showcased for a trade—stopped 87 of 90 shots. (I do care what they get for him, Bobo Gainey. Let's make it more than a fucking second round pick this time. Actually, maybe trade Carey Price instead.) Who cares if the Canadiens continue to take idiotic, undisciplined penalties. Who cares if they're a one line team, with Andrei AK46 Kostitsyn amazingly, inexplicably, finally playing like an actual power forward (that's mostly due to the continuing superb playmaking of C Tomas Plekanec). Who cares if they're still under .500 (17-18-3) and out of the playoffs. Who cares if there's five more games left on this seven game road trip. Andrei Markov is back, and they're 3-0 with him in the lineup—Go Habs Go! (sigh). Next game: tomorrow at Carolina...three in a row?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Leafs (sic) 3, Canadiens 0.

Last night, Montreal (12-13-2) was blanked by one of the very worst defensive teams in the league, at home. While the Habs blogs wearing rose-colored glasses point to the injuries, I again point to the off-season moves, every one of which was a monumental mistake (Yes, I said this at the time). Because, besides Andrei Markov, none of the sidelined players is Doug Harvey or Maurice Richard or even Pierre Mondou. As I said in October, this is solidly a .500 hockey team. G Carey Price, who's played quite well recently, can't cover the opposing forwards skating freely in his zone, or backcheck, or hit somebody, or complete a headman pass or FINISH. Next game: tomorrow at Buffalo, followed by Boston at home on Friday. I don't see a win.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Predators fire 55 Hellfire missiles at Carey Price.

Wow. Saturday, the hard-working Nashville Predators, who will never be mistaken for a team with any offensive talent, outshot the Habs 55-20 en route to a 2-0 win. I'd like to say G Price was a bright spot. But...while he did play well, both goals by Steve Sullivan were the result of silver platter gift-wrapped rebounds. So? 9-11 after 20 games. Next game: tomorrow night vs. the worst team in the NHL, the Carolina Hurricanes. Maybe the Canadiens will actually outskate, outwork, out-anything somebody? Maybe not.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Canadiens fans are f*cking idiots.

Luckily, both Mike Cammalleri and Scott Gomez followed the scouting report and beat Leafs' (sic) goalie Vesa Toskala high glove-side in the shootout to rescue the too-early serenading buffoons. So, this unremarkable, uninteresting Habs team sits unremarkably at 7-7, right where they should be. This is an incredibly boring team to watch; therefore, because of that, and because I'm busy as fuck at my ad job, I will from here on out only be updating this blog when major develops surface. Go. Habs. Gozzzzzz (yes, I'll still be watching most nights, video via Puck Daddy).

Friday, October 30, 2009

Penguins 6, Canadiens 1.

And, it wasn't that close Wednesday night. Sid the whiny Kid registered a hat trick. The Habs (6-6) are not Stanley Cup contenders. Next game: tonight! At Chicago. Carey Price back in net (image via).

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Impress me Habs, beat the champs.

Montreal (6-5) won their fourth straight Monday vs. the Islanders, thanks to another end-to-end OT rush, this time by Tomas Plekanec (above). His flip pass to Roman Hamrlik was a Renaissance painting; it was a perfect Czech-to-Czech checkmate ending to an otherwise unremarkable game. But these are the games the Habs must win to make the playoffs. Jaroslav Halak will get his fifth straight start in net tonight at Pittsburgh, and I think he's gonna have to steal this one for the Canadiens to get a W.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Canadiens 5, Rangers 4, OT.

(Sorry for the late update, work's busy) Forget that the Habs destroyed the Islanders 5-1 last Thursday; that win was meaningless. What was meaningful about it was that it may have jump-started their undersized, overpaid offense. Because Saturday night's home win over the hated Rangers was Montreal's first flash of inspiring hockey. They outskated the Blueshirts, coming back from 3-1 and 4-2 deficits. The Habs (5-5) continued their recent mastery over little Henrik Lundqvist as little Mike $6 million Cammalleri lit him up like the Northern Lights with a four-point hat-trick evening—including the unassisted end-to-end OT game-winner. Next Game: tonight vs. the Islanders, again, at home, thanks to the screwy Olympics year schedule.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Canadiens 2, Thrashers 1, SO.

Tuesday, The Habs ended their five-game losing streak by beating a team playing their fifth game of a five-game road trip, and did it by filling the net with exactly one puck (Brain Gionta's 4th, Montreal's only quasi-finisher) during competitive play. Color me blasé. Next game: tonight vs. the terrible New York Islanders. (pic: Getty Images, search for "unimpressed")

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Senators 3, Canadiens 1.

All three Ottawa goals, including the beautiful coup de grâce by Alex Kovalev, were buried by finishers. The Habs are finisher-less (and Finnisher-less—miss you Saku). So: five losses in a row. I ain't got shit else to say about this shit-awful team. Next game: Tuesday vs Atlanta. OK, I have to say this: Scott $7 million Gomez. Why, Bob Gainey, WHY? (pic of sexy finisher Kovalev working out via)

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Avalanche 3, Canadiens 2.

(click image) Thursday evening, Carey Price unveiled his new mask for the Habs home opener; it features the Grim Reaper riding a chopper and skulls and aces of spades and looks pretty fucking idiotic. And, judging by the first two Colorado lucky-bounce goals, his headgear may be cursed. Montreal finally clearly outplayed somebody, and probably deserved to win, or at least deserved a point. But as Clint Eastwood told Gene Hackman before blowing his brains out in Unforgiven, "Deserve's got nothin' to do with it." Because the Habs own-zone play on the late third period game-winner—18-year-old Ryan O'Reilly's first NHL goal—was embarrassing. That's four losses in a row, and this team's make-up makes me want to puke. Next game: tonight vs. Alex Kovalev and the Senators.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

0-3 Western Canadian Swing.

I only saw the 4-3 Calgary loss Tuesday as I am traveling and away from my NHL Center Ice. But judging by the highlights and recaps of the 7-1 drubbing executed by Vancouver, there wasn't much to analyze about the Habs giant turd-like effort. Last night, the Canadiens finally put some rubber on a goalie at Edmonton, but the 'bulin Wall (what a fucking stupid nickname) apparently did what the Habs Jaro Halak and Carey Price didn't do on the swing, that being make some tough saves. Brian Gionta ripped home his third goal, and continues to be about the only Hab worth a shit so far this season. So: 0-3 against three teams nobody will mistake for Cup contenders. My .500 season prediction may be a bit optimistic. Next game: home opener Thursday vs. Colorado ("Three Swings" acrylic above can be yours for $825).

Monday, October 5, 2009

Canadiens 2, Sabres 1, OT.

So, I'm warming up to peewee Brian Gionta, especially after this beautiful street hockey batted-in game-winning goal against Buffalo Saturday night. Maybe the Habs will get four-years-ago BG. I'm not, however, fooled by the 2-0-0 start. Montreal has been seriously outplayed in both tilts, saved only by Carey Price's solid (fingers crossed) goaltending. The Sabres completely shutdown the Markov-less Habs, limiting them to 15 mostly harmless shots. Now a test: the dreaded three-city western Canada swing starting tomorrow night in Calgary.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Leafs (sic) coach Ron Wilson sums up Habs.

Habs Inside Out found some TV screen caps from Wilson's Thursday night cheatsheet. Sorry, Ronnie, but little Mike Camalleri (sic) left "big slow" Luke Schenn "behind" on Josh Gorges winning OT goal. Blown "Big Blue" assignment, yes? Building always begins in the cellar, right? You should start a wine collection.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Canadiens 4, Leafs (sic) 3, OT.

I was wrong! The Habs, thanks to G Carey Price and a shaky Vesa Toskala, and Leaf D Mike Komisarek spending 15 minutes in the box (nice game, dickhead), managed to squeeze out an undeserved win (outshot 46-27) against arguably the worst team in the league. Gionta (1G), Moen (1G), Cammalleri (2A), Metropolit (1G, 1A) and Gorges (1G, 1A) looked good, $7-mil man Gomez not so good, Gill (as in fish) inept. All of this is moot, because of THIS. Jesus. Next game: tomorrow @ Buffalo (image: flickr).

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Your truncated Habs 2009-2010 preview.

Great off-season! GM Bob Gainey signed three truncated forwards all under five-feet tall (that's Scott Gomez and Brian Gionta above in a recent practice on a 2-on-none drill against some local Montreal pee-wee goalie.). And he signed three new defensemen, two of whom are as slow as fucking sloths. So: instead of addressing what has been their #1 need for years—a BIG finishing forward—Gainey brings in overpaid gnats. FUCKING SPLENDID. SI picks the Habs 8th in the conference, ESPN Mag predicts 5th (crackheads). Tonight the season of .500 starts: @ Toronto. Loss number one (image: flickr).

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

3-0. It's over. Big surprise.
The Bruins have conducted a clinic on defensive hockey.
Tim Thomas hasn't even had to be good.
Good luck Boston.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Friday, April 10, 2009

Habs clinch.

Yip fucking pee. In a probable 1st round preview, Montreal (41-29-11) backed into the playoffs with a 5-4 OT loss to the Bruins and asshole Milan Lucic who can't take a clean hit. Matt D'Agostini snapped in two goals. Alex Kovalev stayed hot. And the supposedly mortally-wounded Mathieu Schneider played and blasted home a PP slapper. But without Andrei Markov, their best player+, the Habs are gonna need B's goalie Tim Thomas to come up Lilliputian and Carey Price to come up Brobdingnagian to advance. Still, there's that Montreal/Boston playoff history to consider...or, they'll face the Capitals.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Habs Season Is OVER.

Playoffs or not, They're fucking FUCKED. (image via)

Friday, April 3, 2009

I've switched to this chair for the last five games.

What is this..."complete game" thing the Canadiens (40-27-10) have played in their last two contests, both emphatic wins—4-1 over the good Blackhawks and 5-1 over the bad Islanders? Forechecking, backchecking, passing, finishing, powerplay goals, fortuitous bounces, defensive zone coverage, goaltending? Where are my Habs? Where is the knot in my stomach?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

I bought this chair from the Torture Museum in Amsterdam for $3.5 million to sit in to watch the rest of the season.

(click image) I got a firsthand look at this baby three years ago. It's called the Inquisition Chair, and was designed to cause excruciating pain over your entire body; so, perfect for watching this fucking Habs (38-27-9) team. Thursday eve vs. the Lightning, Montreal played a rare passionate game. Though they led only 1-0, the Canadiens outshot Tampa 24-8 through two periods. Then, Gui Latendresse did this, and I exhaled. Then, two lucky bounces later, the game was in overtime, and I was in shock. Luckily Saku Koivu got a lucky bounce of his own to salvage the night. So, two points up on ninth place Florida with eight to play. Next game: tonight vs. Buffalo (five points back). I'll be strapping myself in.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I'm in Paris on vacation...

...until Thursday. Habs (36-26-9) have lost four in a row, including getting lit up by Jason Spezza and Ottawa 5-4 two nights ago. This shit stain of a streak will probably continue tonight versus the carefree Leafs (sic). Montreal sits one point out of being out of the playoffs...I don't care, I'm on fucking vacation, you cowardly assholes. I will resume posts whence I return. (image via)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Pour another 40 for the Habs...

Another game, another 40+ shots against, another loss—this time to the tougher, faster, determineder Rangers. Thanks to a late, lucky-ass Andrei Markov wristshot that somehow squeezed by a klutzy King Henrik, the Habs (36-25-9) stole a point. Markov was Montreal's star this night as he also made a marvelous 50-foot pass to a falling Alex Kovalev who one-timed a PP snapper by Lundqvist. G Carey Price came up tiny in the shootout going 0-for-3. Luckily for the Habs, Buffalo, Carolina, and Florida keep losing. Next game: tomorrow @ Ottawa. Must win. Again.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Mortal Lock: the Devils will beat the Canadiens tonight.

The Habs (36-24-8) got out-worked, out-shot, out-played, out-everythinged, at home, by the worst team in the league Thursday; they were damn lucky to get that precious point. Now, tonight, Montrealer Martin Brodeur will be looking to tie Patrick Roy as the winningiest goalie of all time. The Devils are 3-0 against the Canadiens this season, and come in playing their best hockey. (world's largest padlock, via Pakistan)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Canadiens 4, Oilers 3, OT.

The captain Saku Koivu willed the Habs (36-24-7) to victory Tuesday night, Bob Gainey's first game behind the bench. He tied the game with four minutes left by jabbing the puck in with the shaft of his stick (or, cough, his glove). Then in OT, he deftly deflected a bullet Mathieu Schneider PP slapper by Edmonton's helpless Dwayne Roloson. Next game: tonight vs. the terrible Islanders. Must win.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


GM Bob Gainey shitcanned him yesterday, so he'll now have plenty of time to spend with his beautiful wife, Line. As a player, Carbonneau was sublime. Arguably the best defensive forward in the history of the game (that includes you, Bob), his ability to block shots was unparalleled. While not a big goal scorer, he scored HUGE playoff goals for both the 1986 and 1993 Cup-winning teams. As a coach, well, he was not good. But in his defense, this current mess of a squad is not his responsibility. He goes out a winner as the Habs (35-24-7) killed 9 of 10 penalties—including three straight minutes of 5 on 3 time—in Sunday's improbable 3-1 win at Dallas in which G Carey Price appeared to be fully back in form. Gainey's behind the bench tonight vs. Edmonton. It'll be interesting to watch how the players react. (image via)

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Thrashers 2, Canadiens 0.

Playing the worst defensive team in the league, with the worst home record and the worst penalty-killing stats, the Habs (34-24-7) displayed the killer instinct of a pacifist eunuch Friday night in Atlanta. Also remember: the Thrashers traded two of the their top four defensemen (Mathieu Schneider to Montreal and Niclas Havelid to the Devils) before the deadline. Lone bright spot: G Carey Price, subbing for the fluey Jaro Halak, played a solid game. Next game: today @ Dallas. (pictured: some sort of wurst art installation in Germany, via)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sabres 5, Canadiens 1.

For some reason, I completely forgot to wear my Habs hat last night while watching this abysmal game, so that 4-game streak is still alive. The Canadiens (34-23-7) came out like they had fire ants in their hockey pants, dominating faceoffs and outshooting Buffalo 18-10 in the first period. However, they couldn't put one past a hot Patrick Lalime. The Sabres took a 1-0 lead late the stanza with a garbage PP goal off a blocked shot. And then, the Habs just flat out fucking quit the game. Pa-thetic. Coach Carbo skated their asses off this morning...I would've extended it until somebody passed out. Next game: tomorrow @ Atlanta. Hat will be back on.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Four wins in a row for the crazy Habs (34-22-7). After beating the hated Flyers 4-3 in OT Friday thanks to Mathieu Schneider's perfect PP wrister, Montreal somehow jumped to a 3-zip first period lead over league-leader San Jose Saturday night. Then, somehow-er, they managed to hold on for the win. G Jaroslav Halak continues to somehow-est stop the puck with his flailing, flopping style that is a nightmare to witness. Tomas Plekanec and the maybe not about to be traded Alex Kovalev are playing like last season. Still. I feel this charade could implode at any tomorrow night, in Buffalo.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Habs Hat put to the test tonight.

Before Saturday's 5-3 win against Ottawa, I hadn't worn my Canadiens hat since going to MSG in early January to see Montreal drub the hated Rangers, 6-3. I also wore it while watching the unconscious Jaro Halak shutout the superior Canucks 3-0 on Tuesday. Tonight, the Habs (32-22-7) and the Hat are put to the test in Philadelphia against the hot Flyers. If they win again, I'll prop up my autographed Guy Lafleur photo on the sofa during tomorrow's game vs. the Sharks. If the winning streak stretches to four, I may dig the dusty red jersey out of the closet...

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Penguins 5, Canadiens 4.

Thursday, the Habs (30-22-7) displayed defensive zone coverage reminiscent of the NJ pond games of my youth in losing for the 12th time in 15 games. And now, even if Montreal snakes into the playoffs, the Kostitsyn brothers and Roman Hamrlik may be watching from the big house (probably not). Quite the memorable 100th season. The team sits a slim two points ahead of ninth place Carolina. Next Game: today vs. Ottawa. Rested, probably soon to be traded Alex Kovalev back in the lineup. Habs have beaten the Sens five straight. (image via)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Capitals 4, Canadiens 3, SO.

Yeah, yeah, the Habs (30-21-7) and even G Carey Price played their first decent game in awhile. But they still needed one ridiculously lucky bounce and a shaky Jose Theodore in the Capitals' net to get that precious point. However, this Alex Ovechkin goal, in which he made Roman Hamrlik look extremely silly before scoring from his ass, is all you need to remember. Next game: tonight @ Pittsburgh (must win?).

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The End Is Nigh.

After getting dominated yet again in a 4-2 loss Sunday to the Canucks, The Habs (30-21-6) have lost 10 of their last 13 games. They currently sit in a four-way tie for the eighth and last playoff spot. GM Bob Gainey has responded by 1) stupidly trading 2nd and 3rd round draft picks for a washed up 39-year-old former Canadien; and 2) idiotically broadcasting to the other 29 teams that Alex Kovalev can be had at the trading deadline for about a 10th-round draft pick. That's some crack GM-ing, Bobby. Next game: tonight @ Washington.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Canadiens 4, Avalanche 2.

The Habs (30-20-6) Friday pulled a win directly out of the ass of Jaroslav Halak. The Slovak keeper stopped 46 of 48 shots, including three breakaways and a couple others he never saw. The Canadiens led 2-0 after one period, and then turned on their non-forechecking neutral zone clog—which did nothing to slow down the Avalanche as they outshot Montreal 36-9 over the last two periods. Yes, the Habs were utterly dominated by the last place Avalanche. Andrei Kostitsyn (19Gs, leads team) scored the game-winner with 2:16 left off a nice flip pass from Mathieu Dandenault. Kostitsyn sweetly settled the puck and deftly went forehand-backhand to slip it between Colorado goalie Peter Budaj's pads. It was the first road win ever for the Habs against the Avalanche. Next game: tonight! @ Vancouver. Halak back in net, sans demon mask.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Oilers 7, Canadiens 2.

The Habs (29-20-6), after getting embarrassingly torched by the Flames, went bowling. Wednesday, they played even worse and got absolutely drilled by the Oilers. If they lose tonight in Colorado, maybe—in lieu of practicing until the blades break off their skates—they should play a little shuffleboard tomorrow in Vancouver. Then, if they lose to the Canucks, they should again forgo ice time, and gather in the hotel lobby in Washington and play some Parcheesi. And so on. Montreal has now lost nine of their last 11, and are five points ahead of ninth place Carolina and tenth place Pittsburgh.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Flames 6, Canadiens 2, and maybe the shittiest period of hockey the Habs have ever played.

Monday night, the Habs (29-19-6) were outshot 20-4 and out-scored 3-0 in the second period, and it wasn't that close. They gift-wrapped two shorthanded breakaway goals for Calgary. They were out-skated, out-muscled, out-goaltended, out-everythinged like I've never seen. So, they went bowling. Montreal now sits five points clear of missing the playoffs. Next game: tonight @ Edmonton. (giant inflatable dog turd sculpture "Complex Shit" by Paul McCarthy, via)

Monday, February 9, 2009

Price coming up PeeWee for Habs.

After a 3-2 loss to the Sabres Friday and a 5-2 drubbing at home versus the Leafs (sic) Saturday night, The Habs (29-18-6) have now lost seven of their last nine and are a scant six points clear of not making the playoffs. Since coming back from his ankle injury, Jesus Price has been a baby-sized savior between the pipes. And as every nervous Habs fan knows, this team's success begins and ends with the goofy Garth Brooks-lovin' 21-year-old. Philadelphia plainly and painfully showed that last year in the playoffs. Next game: tonight @ Calgary. This western swing could sink them. (pic via)

Friday, February 6, 2009

Canadiens 4, Penguins 2.

Quick, late update (I work 12 hours a day): The Habs (29-16-6) played a solid game Tuesday eve. And the Penguins suck waaay worse than I thought. Standouts were: Sergei Kostitsyn (skated like he was possessed); Max Pacioretty (sweet assist on the third goal by Max Lapierre); Chris Higgins (buried a shorthanded goal); Roman Hamrlik (+4); and the newly reformed Plekanec-Kovalev-Andrei Kostitsyn line. Next game: tonight @ fairly-hot Buffalo. (pic of Crosby-dissing Ranger fan via flickr)

Monday, February 2, 2009

Bruins 3, Canadiens 1.

Wearing their terrible barber shop pole/pajama throwback uni's, the Habs put forth just enough effort to lose a close game to the Bruins. That's the good news. The bad news is much more significant. Also, no word on the condition Gui Latendresse, who slammed his head hard into the boards. Alex Kovalev has basically slept through the last four games, and was benched for the third period by coach Carbonneau. Unless something dramatic happens before the trading deadline, this mediocre group is almost certainly headed nowhere. Notes: Kings defenseman Denis Gauthier got only a five-game suspension for trying to behead Josh Gorges. Next game: tomorrow vs. Pittsburgh and cry-baby Crosby.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

The most important goal of the Habs' season?

I'm all about the hyperbolic hypothetical questions, lately. But Chis Higgins's monster game-tying goal with 1:50 left in yesterday's HUGE win over the Kings was an absolute fucking epic Homer poem of a goal. He threw aside Kings whiny hotshot rookie defenseman Drew Doughty like a girlie rag doll, and roofed it over poke-checking goalie Jonathan Quick.
"I thought it was pretty obvious that he kind of stuck out his arm and just threw me back there, but they didn't give us the call, obviously..." whined the crybaby rag doll Doughty about being legally out-muscled by Higgins.
The Habs (28-15-6) won it with a cheap-ass PP goal with 22 seconds left as a falling Quick knocked the rebound of an Andrei Markov slapper into his own net (Saku Koivu wrongly got credit for the goal). Before these frantic last two minutes, the Canadiens were sleepwalking towards a deserved loss to the mediocre Kings.
Today at 2pm, the Bruins.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Habs heading towards missing the playoffs?

The Habs (27-15-6) went 0-for-Florida, and sucked endless dick in the process. They followed up one of their worst games of the season—the 5-3 loss to Tampa Bay on Tuesday—with their worst game of the season—a 5-1 ass-whoopin' administered by the 8th place Panthers. Florida now sits 6 scant points behind Montreal. And ninth place Carolina and Pittsburgh, both pretty good clubs who are almost certainly going to pick up play, are only 7 points behind the Habs. The Florida game was an absolute meltdown. The plethora of blown defensive assignments was fucking embarrassing. Carey Price wasn't great in goal, but he was the best Hab on the ice; it very easily could have been 10-1. Losing streak is at 4. What's next? Two home matinees: today vs. Los Angeles and tomorrow vs. the 35-8-6 Bruins. Could be an ugly weekend.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

My annual All-Star Game boycott.

Sorry for the lack of game reports for the last two losses against Atlanta and New Jersey, but I've been busier than usual at my ad copywriting job. Frankly, the All-Star break comes at a good time for the Habs (27-13-6). In Atlanta, Jaro Halak let the Thrashers first two goals leak through him on the way to 3-0 deficit. And The Canadiens—despite a nice PP goal by Max Pacioretty and Carey Price spelling Halak—never recovered. I didn't watch the NJ game, and that was a good thing. A supposedly healthy Price made his first start in a month and captain Saku Koivu finally returned from his ankle sprain. But the Devils, now 3-0 against the Habs this season, coasted to the 5-2 win.
So, tonight's the boring skills competition, which I abhor. And tomorrow is the All-Star game, which is as big of a joke of a sporting event as any Harlem Globetrotters game. I don't give a shit that it's in Montreal. So, no. No reports. I'm not watching. For the record: Andrei Markov and Price deserve to be there; Alex Kovalev and Mike Komisarek do not. Back to regular posting next Tuesday/Thursday as the Habs make their second two-game swing through Florida.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Canadiens 5, Senators 4, SO.

Missed the game as we spent last night deep in the avant-garde belly of the downtown Manhattan beast, taking in Celestial Excursions by the Godfather of experimental opera, Robert Ashley. If you're, like me, a fan of the magic and music of spoken words, it is highly recommended...I'm glad I didn't watch the Habs (27-11-6) unmagically blow two 2-goal third-period leads on the way to a stupid skills competition win over the disgraceful last-place Ottawa Senators (Seriously, with a monster #1 line like Heatley-Alfredsson-Spezza, you gotta at least be a playoff team.). Watching the highlights, Robert Lang had two nice assists, one on scalding-hot Andrei Kostitsyn's 7th goal in the last seven games. Max Lapierre got the winner in the shootout and is now 2-for-2 on the season. Notes: In his first NHL game, winger Gregory Stewart got a nice assist on Matt D'Agostini's 7th G...Still waiting for Saku Koivu to return...Carey Price says he's close, and hopes to play in either Atlanta or New Jersey this week... Next game: Tuesday @ Atlanta. (pictured disgraceful Republican senator Larry Craig)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Canadiens 3, Predators 2.

The Habs (26-11-6) expended just enough energy (20 SOGs) to beat the hardworking, skills-challenged Preds. The Andreis Markov and Kostitsyn stood out in this rather boring tilt. American hockey writers can moan and groan about his All-Star starting position all they want—but Markov is one of the five best defensemen in the league. Kostitsyn ripped in his 15th on the PP (off a great pass by Markov), and is finally returning to last season's electric form. Not much else to say—it's January, and it was fucking Nashville, hockey mecca of Appalachia. Next game: tonight @ Ottawa.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bruins 3, Canadiens 1.

I'm ridiculously busy at work, so just a short post to say that the Bruins are a better team than the current Koivu-less, Price-less Canadiens. The Habs (25-11-6) played a respectable game in Beantown Tuesday eve, but solid Bruin D and clutch goaltending by Tim Thomas (he absolutely robbed Andrei Kostitsyn late in the third period with a post-to-post lunging glove save) won the game for Boston. Enjoy your spectacular regular season now B's...because it means absolutely nothing come April. Next game: tonight, against a professional ice hockey team from Nashville, Tennessee, think they're called the Kerchiefs or something.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Canadiens 5, Capitals 4.

(the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, Ford Theatre, Washington, D.C.) Oh baby, what a third period Saturday night. It felt like a mid-1980s Oilers vs. Anybody game. Six goals, four by the Habs (25-10-6), end-to-end mayhem. Finally with 21 seconds left, Sergei Kostitsyn (8Gs) pounced on defenseman Milan Jurcina's mishandle and slid a change-up wrister by stunned Capital goalie Brent Johnson. Earlier, Washington had tied it at 4 on a lucky double deflection PP goal as Kostitsyn sat out a lazy hooking penalty. The Caps entered the third period leading 2-1, thanks to a moment Hab fans had been anticipating with knowing dread; Patrice "Sweepstakes" Brisebois gave away a left boards gift to Alexander Semin who walked in on Jaro Halak and nonchalantly roofed it. Notes: Habs on a 9-1-1 streak have also won 4 straight...Why didn't Cap coach Bruce Boudreau again start ex-Hab Jose Theodore in net?...Tomas Plekanec (9Gs) scored twice, including his third shorthanded tally of the season...Robert Lang, showing those greats hands again, potted his 16th on the PP...the amazing Alex Ovechkin had 8 SOGs but somehow didn't score...Next game: tomorrow, on the road, against the second best team in the NHL—the hated Bruins...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

The last time I saw the Canadiens win in person, Lafleur and Shutt both scored goals...

(click pic: Robert Lang [#20] about to skate down the bench receiving line after scoring his 2nd of three goals—a spectacular rush and roof-it number) Well it hadn't been that long, (though I did see Lafleur and Shutt score in a 4-2 win over the Rangers at the Garden back in 1980 when I was...much younger) but I was starting to worry I was an unqualified jinx. I lucked into free third row seats through my job, and we were seated at the end where Montreal scored all 6 of their goals. In other words, it was fucking heaven. We were seated directly behind Long Islander and ESPN broadcaster Linda Cohn (image via). She was of course rooting for the Blueshirts, but non-obnoxiously (the same can not be said about my taunting shouts of "Go HOME!" after Lang's 2nd made it 5-3.). When Lang's empty-netter gave him the natural hat trick, I doffed my Habs cap, and came thisclose to tossing it over the glass...but it's a newish hat, so I balked. Don't know if I'll be able to get good seats for the April rematch at the Garden, but April games for playoff teams are useless anyway. Anyway, more pics from Georgina!

(click pics: coach Carbonneau clapping and oohing.)

(click pics: Habs win a center-ice draw; action right in front of us)

(click pics: the ruggedly beautiful Alex Kovalev, who scored the Habs first goal after Henrik "The King" Lundqvist handed the puck right to Max Pacioretty and he fed a wide-open Kovalev for the jam-in, had plenty of offensive-zone room all night. (R) SUCK it, Gothamists.)