Habs heading towards missing the playoffs?

The Habs (27-15-6) went 0-for-Florida, and sucked endless dick in the process. They followed up one of their worst games of the season—the 5-3 loss to Tampa Bay on Tuesday—with their worst game of the season—a 5-1 ass-whoopin' administered by the 8th place Panthers. Florida now sits 6 scant points behind Montreal. And ninth place Carolina and Pittsburgh, both pretty good clubs who are almost certainly going to pick up play, are only 7 points behind the Habs. The Florida game was an absolute meltdown. The plethora of blown defensive assignments was fucking embarrassing. Carey Price wasn't great in goal, but he was the best Hab on the ice; it very easily could have been 10-1. Losing streak is at 4. What's next? Two home matinees: today vs. Los Angeles and tomorrow vs. the 35-8-6 Bruins. Could be an ugly weekend.

My annual All-Star Game boycott.

Sorry for the lack of game reports for the last two losses against Atlanta and New Jersey, but I've been busier than usual at my ad copywriting job. Frankly, the All-Star break comes at a good time for the Habs (27-13-6). In Atlanta, Jaro Halak let the Thrashers first two goals leak through him on the way to 3-0 deficit. And The Canadiens—despite a nice PP goal by Max Pacioretty and Carey Price spelling Halak—never recovered. I didn't watch the NJ game, and that was a good thing. A supposedly healthy Price made his first start in a month and captain Saku Koivu finally returned from his ankle sprain. But the Devils, now 3-0 against the Habs this season, coasted to the 5-2 win.
So, tonight's the boring skills competition, which I abhor. And tomorrow is the All-Star game, which is as big of a joke of a sporting event as any Harlem Globetrotters game. I don't give a shit that it's in Montreal. So, no. No reports. I'm not watching. For the record: Andrei Markov and Price deserve to be there; Alex Kovalev and Mike Komisarek do not. Back to regular posting next Tuesday/Thursday as the Habs make their second two-game swing through Florida.

Canadiens 5, Senators 4, SO.

Missed the game as we spent last night deep in the avant-garde belly of the downtown Manhattan beast, taking in Celestial Excursions by the Godfather of experimental opera, Robert Ashley. If you're, like me, a fan of the magic and music of spoken words, it is highly recommended...I'm glad I didn't watch the Habs (27-11-6) unmagically blow two 2-goal third-period leads on the way to a stupid skills competition win over the disgraceful last-place Ottawa Senators (Seriously, with a monster #1 line like Heatley-Alfredsson-Spezza, you gotta at least be a playoff team.). Watching the highlights, Robert Lang had two nice assists, one on scalding-hot Andrei Kostitsyn's 7th goal in the last seven games. Max Lapierre got the winner in the shootout and is now 2-for-2 on the season. Notes: In his first NHL game, winger Gregory Stewart got a nice assist on Matt D'Agostini's 7th G...Still waiting for Saku Koivu to return...Carey Price says he's close, and hopes to play in either Atlanta or New Jersey this week... Next game: Tuesday @ Atlanta. (pictured disgraceful Republican senator Larry Craig)

Canadiens 3, Predators 2.

The Habs (26-11-6) expended just enough energy (20 SOGs) to beat the hardworking, skills-challenged Preds. The Andreis Markov and Kostitsyn stood out in this rather boring tilt. American hockey writers can moan and groan about his All-Star starting position all they want—but Markov is one of the five best defensemen in the league. Kostitsyn ripped in his 15th on the PP (off a great pass by Markov), and is finally returning to last season's electric form. Not much else to say—it's January, and it was fucking Nashville, hockey mecca of Appalachia. Next game: tonight @ Ottawa.

Bruins 3, Canadiens 1.

I'm ridiculously busy at work, so just a short post to say that the Bruins are a better team than the current Koivu-less, Price-less Canadiens. The Habs (25-11-6) played a respectable game in Beantown Tuesday eve, but solid Bruin D and clutch goaltending by Tim Thomas (he absolutely robbed Andrei Kostitsyn late in the third period with a post-to-post lunging glove save) won the game for Boston. Enjoy your spectacular regular season now B's...because it means absolutely nothing come April. Next game: tonight, against a professional ice hockey team from Nashville, Tennessee, think they're called the Kerchiefs or something.

Canadiens 5, Capitals 4.

(the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, Ford Theatre, Washington, D.C.) Oh baby, what a third period Saturday night. It felt like a mid-1980s Oilers vs. Anybody game. Six goals, four by the Habs (25-10-6), end-to-end mayhem. Finally with 21 seconds left, Sergei Kostitsyn (8Gs) pounced on defenseman Milan Jurcina's mishandle and slid a change-up wrister by stunned Capital goalie Brent Johnson. Earlier, Washington had tied it at 4 on a lucky double deflection PP goal as Kostitsyn sat out a lazy hooking penalty. The Caps entered the third period leading 2-1, thanks to a moment Hab fans had been anticipating with knowing dread; Patrice "Sweepstakes" Brisebois gave away a left boards gift to Alexander Semin who walked in on Jaro Halak and nonchalantly roofed it. Notes: Habs on a 9-1-1 streak have also won 4 straight...Why didn't Cap coach Bruce Boudreau again start ex-Hab Jose Theodore in net?...Tomas Plekanec (9Gs) scored twice, including his third shorthanded tally of the season...Robert Lang, showing those greats hands again, potted his 16th on the PP...the amazing Alex Ovechkin had 8 SOGs but somehow didn't score...Next game: tomorrow, on the road, against the second best team in the NHL—the hated Bruins...

The last time I saw the Canadiens win in person, Lafleur and Shutt both scored goals...

(click pic: Robert Lang [#20] about to skate down the bench receiving line after scoring his 2nd of three goals—a spectacular rush and roof-it number) Well it hadn't been that long, (though I did see Lafleur and Shutt score in a 4-2 win over the Rangers at the Garden back in 1980 when I was...much younger) but I was starting to worry I was an unqualified jinx. I lucked into free third row seats through my job, and we were seated at the end where Montreal scored all 6 of their goals. In other words, it was fucking heaven. We were seated directly behind Long Islander and ESPN broadcaster Linda Cohn (image via). She was of course rooting for the Blueshirts, but non-obnoxiously (the same can not be said about my taunting shouts of "Go HOME!" after Lang's 2nd made it 5-3.). When Lang's empty-netter gave him the natural hat trick, I doffed my Habs cap, and came thisclose to tossing it over the glass...but it's a newish hat, so I balked. Don't know if I'll be able to get good seats for the April rematch at the Garden, but April games for playoff teams are useless anyway. Anyway, more pics from Georgina!

(click pics: coach Carbonneau clapping and oohing.)

(click pics: Habs win a center-ice draw; action right in front of us)

(click pics: the ruggedly beautiful Alex Kovalev, who scored the Habs first goal after Henrik "The King" Lundqvist handed the puck right to Max Pacioretty and he fed a wide-open Kovalev for the jam-in, had plenty of offensive-zone room all night. (R) SUCK it, Gothamists.)

Canadiens 6, Maple Leafs (sic) 2.

Thursday night, the visiting sub-.500 Leafs (sic) decided that they would out-tough the Habs (24-10-6). And out-penalty them. And out-dumbass them. Two minutes into the game, Sergei Kostitsyn scored a PP tap-in goal off a sweet feed from Patrice Brisebois (3 assists, 1st star) and, helped out by bad Vesa Toskala goaltending, the Canadiens skated to their easiest win of the season. Toronto laughingly macho-jammed Jaro Halak's crease after every stoppage, but the Czech keeper was never rattled and played his second straight solid game. Six different Habs scored, including a wicked wrister by Alex Kovalev (11Gs, two-game goal streak), and impressive American rookie Max Pacioretty's 2nd. Notes: ex little-Hab Mikhail Grabovski earned himself a three-game suspension by shoving a ref during a non-fight with fellow Belarussian Kostitsyn—read the whole back-story here (scroll down)... Montreal's on an 8-1-1 streak...Cap Saku Koivu won't be back until next week...Tom Kostopoulos and Francis Bouillon, both giving up much size, both lost decisions in their fights with Jamal Mayers and new Leaf goon Brad May, respectively...Habs lead season series 2-1...Next game: tonight against the hot, dangerous, 27-12-3 Capitals. Later today, I'll post more pics/notes from our wondrous visit to MSG...

Canadiens 6, Rangers 3.

(click pic) I was at the Garden last night, in the 3rd row, and had a perfect view of the Habs (23-10-6) lighting up Henrik "The King" Lundqvist like a fucking pinball machine. I'll do a longer post on this game Saturday, with many more pics by Georgina. In the meantime, here's the Max Lapierre line gracefully turning up ice in unison. Next Game: tonight! Against the hated Leafs (sic). I smell rivalry trouble.

Canadiens 6, Panthers 5, SO.

Late post 'cause I'm busy. Sunday, the Habs (22-10-6) played one of their best periods of the season, but sandwiched it with two of their worst periods of the season. After literally watching the Panthers take a 2-0 first period lead, Montreal scored four straight even-strength second period goals while out-shooting Florida 19-5. Then in the third stanza, the Cats feasted on Montreal's lazy sloppiness, finally tying the game on Radek Dvorak's 2nd goal with less than two minutes left. Comrade Andrei Markov scored the only shootout tally in the ill-gotten win. First star Andrei Kostitsyn tallied two goals, including an Alex Semin-quality wrister. Jaro Halak was again sub-par between the pipes...Jesus Christ, come back soon Carey Price. Note: pathetic Hab PP was minus one-for-5 as Dvorak scored on a shorthanded breakaway after idiotic Alex Kovalev tried to skate thru three Panthers. Next game: tomorrow night, here in NYC, against the HATED Rangers. I'll be there.

Devils 4, Canadiens 1.

(image: a sieve)
Jaroslav Halak has been an acceptable backup goalie to Carey Price this season. But last night against New Jersey, he sucked Satan's sweaty stinky sack. The first two Devil goals went straight through the leaky Halak. And with the Habs (21-10-6) missing an entire offensive line to injuries, well, pray that Price doesn't get seriously hurt. But in Halak's defense, many of the forwards took a night off from backchecking (right, AK46?), and many of the defensemen's breakout passes were sloppy. Montreal's only goal was 2007 #1 pick (and U of Michigan product) Max Pacioretty's first NHL tally, set up by a beaut of a carom pass by Kyle Chipchura. Notes: The double-shifted Alex Kovalev played 22+ minutes and was often dangerous with 6 SOGs...third goalie Marc Denis saw his first action of the year, replacing Halak for the third period (1G against)...Next game: tomorrow afternoon vs. the not-hated Panthers...

Rubber Bullet Points, January 2nd.

• Eying their 5th straight World Junior title, Canada blitzed the US, 7-4.
• A look back at that magical night when Tretiak stoned the Habs on New Year's Eve, 1975 (image via).
• Tanguay's out 6 weeks, Price is out tonight vs. the (hated) Devils.
• Gaborik update: maybe facing season-ending surgery. He'll probably get injured during the operation.
• They really know their hockey in San Jose.

Canadiens 2, Lightning 1, SO.

Playing their 3rd game in four nights, and looking like they were playing their 3rd game in one night, The Habs (21-9-6) still managed to barely skate to an ugly, stupid skills competition win. But until Gui Latendresse scored a rebound goal in the first minute of the third period to tie it, it looked like the Canadiens were going to lose to arguably the worst team in the league for the 2nd time in three weeks. In the shootout, Alex Kovalev scored on his usual backhand move, and then current team MVP Max Lapierre buried a top shelf forehand that ended up winning it. G Carey Price was solidly solid, per usual. So, four points in Florida: something that has pretty much never happened, and used to be a yearly zero- or one-point trip. Notes: Montreal 3-0 on road trip, 5-0-1 in last six...Hulking Lightning forward Evgeny Artyukhin tried to check Alex Tanguay into the Gulf of Mexico, breaking a pane of glass in the process. Tanguay didn't return to action and was scheduled for an upper body MRI today...Though he gave up about a thousand pounds, brave Tom Kostopoulos instigated a fight with Artyukhin later in the first period, and got summarily pounded...Next game: Friday @ the boring, trapping hated Devils...I'm off to see Slumdog Millionaire with my lovely girlfriend...("A55 RGY" license plate via. You stay classy, Sunshine State.)

Canadiens 5, Panthers 2.

(pictured: "one of New York's finest entertainers," Max the Magician.)
Max Lapierre (7Gs), displaying the right-handed scoring touch of a flowing-locks Lafleur, pulled a natural hat trick out of his ass to power the Habs (20-9-6). With the game tied at 2 in the second period, Lapierre calmly roofed a bad-angle backhand over surprise starting Panther G Craig Anderson (#1 Florida netminder Tomas Vokoun has often stood on his balding Czech head vs. Montreal). Then, early in the third he calmly fired an off-wing wrister by Anderson. He also slid in an unassisted empty-netter. The newly un-undead (update: or is that un-un-undead? Logic professors, please confirm.) Tomas Plekanec (7Gs) added an electric shorthanded breakaway tally. Both Panther goals were the result of Hab mistakes: First, Michael Frolik caught G Carey Price cheating on a 2-on-1; their second goal, by David Booth (15Gs), came as a result of an idiotic giveaway by Sergei Kostitsyn. Notes: Montreal 4-0-1 in last five...D Josh Gorges got a lot of PP time—which he isn't quite ready for...About 2/3s of the fans in the Sunrise stands were Habs fans. "If we can have crowds like that every weekend (it was a Monday night, dude), I don't care who they're cheering for," lied Panther coach Pete DeBoer....Next game: tonight! @ the hated (OK, not really) Lightning...

Live blogging the Canadiens/Penguins while listening to the dim-witted Murray Wilson and Rick Moffat on CJAD on my laptop at my parents' house.

• Now-healed Andrei Kostitsyn bangs it in from the playmaking center formerly known as Tomas Plekanec (Pleks's first point in TEN games).
• Penguins tie it with a cheap bounce off the end boards and off G Carey Price...goal to Pascal Dupuis (born in Laval).
• AK46 again! Again from Pleks! With 1.6 seconds left in the period! "Tape-to-tape" according to the cliché-spouting Wilson.
END OF PERIOD. Habs, 2-1.
• Crosby ties it. Jerkface.
• ...and the Habs' offense completely vanishes in the second period.
END OF PERIOD. 2-2.
• Hat Trick (his first!) for Kostitsyn! BLOWS it by G Marc-André Fluery...
• Max Lapierre shorthanded breakaway...doesn't score...of course not...the hustler has hands of stone (my contribution to the Murray Wilson cliché spew stream).
• Josh Gorges trips Crosby, another Penguin PP. Uh. Oh.
• Tanguay, high-sticking, with 3 minutes left. SHIT.
• Price robs Malkin! Apparently! (and again!)
• Pens 0-5 on the PP! Fluery is pulled with :55 remaining.
• HABS WIN, 3-2! Montreal (19-9-6) outshot 17-5 in the third period. Price came up big 5 or 6 times. Fuck you, cry-baby Sidney Crosby, who has taken the league's biggest whiner-to-refs torch, passed on from Wayne Gretzky...

X-Mas eve eve Rubber Bullet Points.

• It's the Canadiens' official Christmas card. How preciously pathetic.
• The worst hockey column headline of the holiday season, maybe ever: O little town of Bettmanhem...
• Beau-Brummell coach Carbonneau says his team is "right where we want to be." If that's "heading towards watching the late playoff rounds on TV," then he is astutely correct.
• Injury-prone Gaborik for lazy-prone Kovalchuk?
• MYFO's guide to the worst of NHL.com's Winter Classic gift guide.
• The Great One's Twitter is a fake. No, he's waiting for the Whiner app. (via)
• The NJ Devils name their favorite holiday songs. Bobby Holik: "Music means nothing to me." (via)

Hurricanes 3, Canadiens 2, OT.

Asshole Tuomo Ruutu, youngest of the asshole Ruutu brothers, jammed in the game winner as a somewhat rusty, leaky Carey Price let an Eric Staahl wrist shot leak between his rusty pads. Robert Lang's PP one-timer got the Habs (18-9-6) a tie and a point with seven minutes left in the third period. But yet again, another team's group of forwards out-skated Montreal's. Other than Saku Koivu (who is of course hurt), Tom Kostopoulos, maybe Max Lapierre, and rookie Matt D'Agostini (6Gs now in 11 games), no other Canadien forwards have showed up for every game. And if you can't show up after putting on the C-H, then you don't deserve to wear it. Carolina has now won 12 of the last 15 vs. the Habs. Next game: Saturday @ Pittsburgh.

Canadiens 4, Sabres 3, OT.

"You're going to have to show me where Jochen is holding somebody," whined Buffalo coach Lindy Ruff post-game about Jochen Hecht's blatant interference penalty on Alex Kovalev that led to AK's game-winning PP laser wrister with :25 left in OT—it was Montreal's first OT win of the season. Why don't you shut your ugly face you whiny little girl coach with a female-like first name? The big victory moved the Habs (18-9-5) five points ahead of Buffalo in the Northeast division. Kovalev had eight SOGs and now has goals in three straight, and I pray to Lord Stanley that he has finally de-fogged himself. Notes: Shut-up Ruff. Sergei Kostitsyn had 2Gs and was the game's first star. Next game: in four hours! vs. the stupid, hated Hurricanes. Carey Price back in net.

Canadiens 5, Flyers 2.

Holy shit, what the Hell happened to the hapless Habs (17-9-5) of the last three games? The forwards were driving to the net in droves...perfect, flying Frenchmen-like headman passes by Max Lapierre and Steve Begin(?) setup clean breakaway goals by Matt D'Agostini (5Gs) and Alexei Kovalev (2-game goal-scoring streak!), respectively...the PP potted a pair...Everybody was hitting filthy Flyers left and right...Shit, dapper coach Carbonneau...did you personally shoot B-vitamins into the asses of every player during the pre-game meeting? Notes: Of COURSE ex-Hab Arron Asham scored for Philly...One major complaint—G Jaro Halak was giving up big rebounds like his equipment was rubberized...Next game: tomorrow vs Buffalo.

Gameday Rubber Bullet Points.

• Ulfie Samuelsson blogs that he once tried to electrocute Rick Tocchet.
• Canadiens sign time-traveling Jacques Plante (right) to play goal tonight.
• Olde tyme Leafs/Hawks hockey.
• Marian Gaborik's groin talks...like a gangsta(?).
• Semin on woman. (as an aside, he has the best wrist shot in the NHL).
• Mike Komisarek may be in the lineup tonight.