Special 100th anniversary alternate jersey designed specifically for Patrice Brisebois.

(click image for closer look)
It's made of artificially-colored rabbit's fur. It's currently for sale on e-bay for a mere $395. (via)

Habs 3, Panthers 1.

That plucky little beef cube of a defenseman Francis Bouillon slapped home the third period game-winner through a nice Mathieu Dandenault screen to lead the first-place Habs (5-0-1) to their 5th straight win. Cap Saku Koivu scored the game's first tally off of a sweet 4-on-4 setup by freelancing D Andrei Markov, who is on a pace to notch an Orr-like 123 assists. The heretofore nonexistent Tomas Plekanec briefly materialized to wrist home an empty-netter. Both teams back-checked well, creating a far from entertaining TV experience. Jaroslav Halak was again solid in goal. Said Koivu about the Panthers: "You could really smell the sun block out there tonight." Next game: Saturday vs. Anaheim. (image: Pink Panther balloon animal by YoYo the balloon man)

Canadiens 4, Coyotes 1.

In the Habs fourth straight win, the Koivu-Tanguay-Latendresse line scorched the visitors for 3 even-strength goals. Robert Lang also banged in a gift PP tally, his third. Koivu's assists on Tanguay two goals were both absolutely gorgeous feeds. After Andrei Kostitsyn got his brain caviar rearranged on a marginally dirty hit by Phoenix blueliner Kurt Sauer, Giant George Laraque then spent the rest of the game looking for a Coyote willing to receive a payback pummeling. (Sauer pussied out when challenged). Winger Todd Fedoruk finally obliged.
Notes: funny to observe that Phoenix coach Wayne Gretzky is as much of cry-baby whiner as he was when he was a player..."do they constantly have sand in their hockey pants?", wondered Koivu post-game about the visitors...Christopher Higgins and his strained groin, rumored to be ready for action, was still out of the lineup...a positive develop from the Kostitsyn hit was that it inspired the chronically-lazy Canadiens to play hard for most of the 60 minutes...

Lazy Habs Let Bruins Have A Point in 4-3 SO Win.

Not a good sign—how many times did we see this bullshit at the Bell Centre last season? The Habs bang in a couple of quick goals, and then just stop fucking skating? Price saved their asses in the shootout. I know it's early on, but home-ice laziness is a virus. Saku Koivu blamed the ghosts for the lackluster effort, saying they were obviously drunk during the pre-game festivities. Next up: Saturday vs. the Coyotes.
And in embarrassing ex-Canadiens news, Red Wings defenseman Chris Chelios thinks singer Joe Elliot from god-awful Def Leppard purposely disrespected hockey by placing Lord Stanley's Cup upside-down on stage during the league's god-awful opening night ceremonies in Detroit.

0-fer on the PP, but a 5-3 win over the f*cking Flyers?

Four even strength goals (plus an empty-netter), in a road game where their play, and that of young backstopper Carey Price, was spotty? Fuck yeah, I'll take it. And nice to see big boy Latendresse stand up for himself at the closing buzzer, because teams are gonna challenge his perceived pussiness all season.
Said cap Saku Koivu after his shower: "I think they miss RJ Umberger. And Mel Bridgeman. And Bernie Parent. And Cowboy Bill Flett. And...hey any liquor stores around here got any glögi?"
(pictured—Cowboy Bill Flett, back when players protected their heads with abnormally thick hair and their faces with abnormally thick beards. Also back when the Flyers last won a Cup. image via.)

Habs Incinerate Maple Leafs, 6-1.

(right: a Toronto throwback uni from the days of yore. image via.)
A night after looking like 18 players who'd never met before in a SO loss in Buffalo to the Slugs, the Canadiens looked like the old surgical Russian Red Army machine in Toronto.
Everybody in the lineup, except "Sweepstakes" Brisebois (he's always giving away free gifts), was hopping and juking. Even Gui Latendresse looked confident and dangerous. That scared me.
Said Koivu, post-game: "I think they miss Mats Sundin. And Bjore Salming. And Red Kelly. And Turk Broda. And...hey any of you guys know where I can get a bottle of aquavit this time of night?"
Next up: tonight in Philadelphia against the loathed Flyers.

The Montreal Canadiens will not win the Stanley Cup this season.

Unlike every other hockey prognosticator on the Web, I am not convinced that the Habs are the best team in the East. I'm not even convinced that they're gonna make the playoffs. Why? Because I remember last year, when many of the same brilliant Kreskins predicted my beloved icemen wouldn't qualify for the post-season. And this year's team ain't much different than last year's. And sensitive sniper Alex Kovalev is a year older. And Mark Streit will NOT be easily replaced on the power play. And the Canadiens absolutely sucked smelly elk ass last year at even strength. So, while Andrei "Big Tits" (as the randy Four Habs Fans have nicely dubbed him) Kostitsyn is a star in the making, and Montreal winning a 25th Cup in their 100th year is a tidy little dream, reality is—it ain't happening. For further evidence of disappointment, I present the hubristic release of this special Canadiens edition of Monopoly (?). Also? This fan's obsessive video tribute (found here) set to fucking "Viva La Vida" by fucking Coldplay. They're DOOMED. I have the NHL Center Ice package and an understanding girlfriend; therefore, I will be updating the site 2-3 times a week, all season (unlike last year). Tonight it begins at Buffalo.