Friday, October 10, 2008

The Montreal Canadiens will not win the Stanley Cup this season.

Unlike every other hockey prognosticator on the Web, I am not convinced that the Habs are the best team in the East. I'm not even convinced that they're gonna make the playoffs. Why? Because I remember last year, when many of the same brilliant Kreskins predicted my beloved icemen wouldn't qualify for the post-season. And this year's team ain't much different than last year's. And sensitive sniper Alex Kovalev is a year older. And Mark Streit will NOT be easily replaced on the power play. And the Canadiens absolutely sucked smelly elk ass last year at even strength. So, while Andrei "Big Tits" (as the randy Four Habs Fans have nicely dubbed him) Kostitsyn is a star in the making, and Montreal winning a 25th Cup in their 100th year is a tidy little dream, reality is—it ain't happening. For further evidence of disappointment, I present the hubristic release of this special Canadiens edition of Monopoly (?). Also? This fan's obsessive video tribute (found here) set to fucking "Viva La Vida" by fucking Coldplay. They're DOOMED. I have the NHL Center Ice package and an understanding girlfriend; therefore, I will be updating the site 2-3 times a week, all season (unlike last year). Tonight it begins at Buffalo.

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